A Burden on his Brother's Soul
by 7kstar
Summary: Takes place in Season 10. Appearances can be deceiving. Sometimes you have a bad day but despite the obstacles thrown in the way, loving brothers always trumps misery. PreviouslyTV Supernatural word challenge. Will add new word challenges as they are completed.
1. Burden on his Soul

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them but they do stir my imagination. I promise I'll give them back eventually...

Written for a prompt over on the **PreviouslyTV Supernatural** board fanfiction thread – use / feature a word starting with A in a 500 word or less story. I cheated but I used two words, so technically it's fine, right?

 **Time:** Somewhere after Dean says they should go on a real vacation and before "Book of the Damned"

 **Word Count:** 677

 **Words:** Abandoned, brothers

* * *

Misery loves company, such a false truth. A lie told to make the miserable feel better.

Alone again naturally, he expected it now. Abandoned but this time he so deserved it. Poison, he was poison to everyone he loved or allowed to enter into his life. Happy endings always occurred to others but at least he had a few moments of bliss.

His memories drifted backwards, Sam's honest but brutal truth.

" _You think you're my savior, my brother the hero, you swoop in and even when you mess up you think what you're doing is worth it because you've convinced yourself you're doing more good than bad. But you're not. Kevin's dead, Crowley's in the wind, we're no closer to winning this angel thing."_

He had tried to deny it, to challenge it even by spouting off, _"If the situation was reversed and I was the one dying you'd do the same thing._

Sam's response stabbed him in the heart, but he couldn't really deny the truth, anymore.

" _But you, you didn't want to be alone. And that's what all this boils down to. You can't stand the thought of being alone. I'll give you this much. You are certainly willing to be the one doing the sacrificing, as long as you are not the one being hurt."_

But he deserved it, he could see that now. A burden on his brother's soul without the means to make amends, even though he wished it were otherwise. Death would win tonight, but he couldn't count on a peaceful end, but the worst part, Sam would pay the ultimate price. He would have to hunt and kill his brother.

A silent plea, _please don't let Cain's words come true, don't let me kill Sam._ At least his baby wasn't totaled, Sam would look after it. His thoughts were getting so jumbled, it hurt and he couldn't even remember how he landed in this ditch, alone and with a dead cell phone. _Moron, why didn't you charge the damn phone?_ He couldn't help it as a chuckle escaped and man did it hurt. He deserved to be the one that died alone, he just wasn't worth anyone's time.

"Dean, damn it you hold on, you hear me!" Sam slapped his brother's face but he didn't get a response. Too close, this one had been too close. "You stupid fool, you crazy son of a bitch."

"The ambulance should be here any minute. He didn't even hesitate, he just threw the little girl out of harm's way but got clipped before he could escape. He's been babbling a bit, but isn't aware of anyone around him. I was afraid of moving him, he saved my baby girl." A young woman nervously clarified.

Sam looked up, "He's a hero, he never thinks about the consequences to himself especially if there's a child involved. Thank God, he wasn't alone when this happened. I should have gotten here sooner. I stopped for some pie...Dean, you're not alone...you hear me?" It felt important to tell him that.

* * *

Later in a hospital room, Dean asked, "So when do I get out of here?"

Sam smiled, "When the doctor approves and quit pouting I'm not sneaking you out."

"Meanie."

"Such a strong comeback." Sam looked away, "You scared me, Dean. So for now, you're stuck, of course the doctor's are excited that your healing so much faster than you should. Guess another trick courtesy of the mark." He muttered, "How about a game of hearts?"

"Sam, how did I get here in the first place, I don't remember?"

"The story of your life, you had to be a fricken hero." Sam didn't mind, the concussion, the broken ribs, broken right leg would heal. Their problems still existed, but for now it just felt good to be just plain brothers. "Dean, I expect a really nice vacation once we get rid of that mark. I don't care if the world is falling upside down...you owe me a fun vacation."

Dean smirked, "Hearts are for girls, how about poker?"

* * *

 **A/N:** I know I've got a lot of unfinished stories but trying to get back in the swing of writing once again. Just a short one - shot but planning to work on the unfinished ones.


	2. Carry On

This one wrote itself pretty quickly, I was in a dark mood and just let the words fly. Spoilers for **Season 10 X 23 - Brother's Keeper.**

* * *

 **Word:** Carry

 **Word Count:** 486

* * *

What on earth is wrong with me? I should be happy, I should be feeling satisfied but instead I'm wondering when will my world turn upside down again. I killed Cain, I've killed the bad guys, and I'm alive to...what?

 _Carry on my wayward son  
There'll be peace when you are done._

Damn that song, it hits too close to home. I'll never find peace even when I'm gone. I'll never feel connected, just drifting. Always longing and aware that I'm missing something precious. But how can you miss something you've never had? Mom...

Sam's had it once, but I came along and took it all away. He's tried to convince me he doesn't blame me, but I know he does. Hell, I do too. If I hadn't been so selfish, he could have had more time with her...maybe even found a way to save her.

He had a happiness of belonging, totally fitting in and I forced him to leave. No wonder a part of him hates me. I can't blame him...I do too.

I tried with Lisa and Ben. God knows I tried to make it work. I even blamed Sam for being soulless. For destroying it all, but he wasn't Sam. I'm the one that caused it all putting it all in motion because I couldn't do the one honorable thing. I couldn't let my brother die. Why couldn't I do it? Am I that selfish as Sam says?

In my anger I blamed Sam, but that wasn't his fault, I can see that now. But this Mark, well it's all on me. I was too stupid to ask any questions. Cain even gave me a chance, but I refused because I just knew I would be dead soon...but nope it wasn't in the cards. My punishment, I have to live with this, I'm sure.

I'm evil now and it's time I accept it. If I stay I'll fulfill the prophecy of going backwards and I'll kill him. Hell I almost killed Cas.

 _Once I rose above the noise and confusion  
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion  
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high._

It is an illusion, one that I've held on too far too long. I keep telling myself, I can beat this...I can fix it. I keep hanging on to Sam's promise that he'll find a cure. But even if he could cure me, will I ever be able to forgive myself for all the harm I've done? It's wrong and I know it. He can't help himself and neither could I when the shoes have been reversed. It's time, I know what I have to do...So just do it already!

Why is this paper so heavy? I'll never be able to find the words...he deserves more than. Just write the damn note and get this over with. Quit being such a baby. It's time...

* * *

 **A/N:** I really would love to hear what you think. If you would be so kind to leave a review it would really make my day. Thanks for reading.


End file.
